Mothers.

It’s Mother’s Day this weekend and I think the biggest gift I’ve been given from my mother as well as the 2nd mother God gifted me with is feelings and wisdom. Stay with me here.

I think there is such a strong emphasis on not letting feelings lead the way, especially as a Christian woman. But I have never found freedom in hiding my feelings from God or my mothers. There’s only been love, deeper connection, and hope on the other side. That’s where wisdom comes in. The ability to feel what I feel in both of their unique presences - one as a young girl who was met with a mom who held her and comforted her and tried to cheer her up, and the other as a woman who’s been met with a second mother who comforts with hand-holding and wisdom and a cup of coffee. I’m always waiting to be judged but she does not judge me, slap a Bible verse on the wound, and send me on my way. She lets me share, and simply sits with me. It’s been such a beautiful picture of God’s love. How many times, He simply sits with me. Emotions and wisdom can go hand-in-hand.

My Aunt, my second mother, is BRIMMING with wisdom that knows no bounds. She has her own story, one of so much hardship and climbing out and then hardship again, but always credits God for the woman she is. I am BEYOND blessed to have her guidance, and to have had her comfort after my Mom passed away. There have been so many wounds to tend to and she has tended to them all in me. For that, I am grateful. I’m grateful for a Mom who loves the Lord, but doesn’t shame me. Who will always remind me of the truth, but leads me back to it gently. Wow, it’s so special.

I used to be the girl who was very hard on myself when it came to God and His Word, believing He expected me to be perfect. And then I ran away because I couldn’t be. And then He drew me back in a way I can’t take credit for. I could never. He chased me. And then gave me the gift of a second Mom who could walk the road of healing with me. It’s been a very long road, and she has been so patient and loving. Just the woman for the job, teaching me softness and learning to receive while also allowing me to say the raw, hard things out loud even if it’s just through sobbing. I’m thankful to both of these women for their strength, courage, and love. Mostly for their love for God. And how I could not exist or survive without having had either one of them. What a gift. And I hope this Mother’s Day reminds you, no matter where you are on your journey, that as a woman you are cherished and wholly loved. You would not be alive if you weren’t already. God loves you and just as both my Moms met me in childhood and adulthood, the good and the ugly, God wants to meet you there too. 🌷