More.

I went to Starbucks this morning in my new shoes which always feels like the start of school to me. New shoes meant a new school year but now as an adult maybe it means a new spring or summer. It was nice to sit out on a patio and have iced coffee like it’s a treat. It always is in this economy and also a reminder I’m not in school anymore. We’re adults with coffee budgets.

I started setting apart Friday mornings for time with God at the beginning of the year and it’s funny how when I started, it was about me. I felt lonely at the time and went to Panera one morning and just felt a gentle voice say, “we should do this more often”. So every Friday apart from illness or something unplanned, I make time to go to coffee, bring my Bible and journal, and just talk to Him. Initially it was to fill the quality time part of my heart I think, that’s how I feel full. And it still is that-but I’ve also felt such a shift in the last few months, like I’ve gotten to know Him as well, in a different way.

When we’re young, it is all about us. We’re so self-focused. As kids, it’s normal. As young adults, we’re so ambitious and have our plans. And as we make our way into adulthood, it can stay that way. But God is so kind in how He matures us, and actually still makes it about us in how He cares for us, which is crazy to me-just like the best Father ever. But I’ve found in the more time I’ve been sitting with Him, He’s made Himself more known to me. It’s been less and less about circumstances and what I want and more and more about me knowing Him. His character. How He speaks and moves and comforts. That makes everything else fade somehow on these Friday mornings. And it’s exactly what I need. I don’t think I knew that what I was really looking for was safety, refuge, to feel seen. I made it about what I want but at the heart of it, it was all of the above. I know myself so little to be honest.

The bigger He is, the less everything else matters. That’s a platitude but I’ve found it’s come to life for me really. He is always so big. And kind and loving. We just don’t take the time to see it. And He is too kind to force it. If who He is is our center focus, it’s amazing how much that will heal in us . Like our souls were made for it, like it’s exactly His design. Which, surprise, it is. He can heal all of us. Sometimes in a minute. Sometimes it takes time. But I’ve noticed if it takes time, there’s purpose even in that. If everything was fixed in an instant, we’d miss out on Him, and still be walking around with mostly empty and broken hearts, just not know it until everything else fails us again. He is where the safety and love and protection and care I longed for lives. It’s what echoes in my own heart when He said, “Peace, be still!” (Mark 4:39). And it’s amazing to me how He used my love language to show me that. He is all that matters and all that will last for eternity. Everything we think we want now fades. And it doesn’t mean not to want it or pray for it or feel what we feel about it. But to take it to Him on a Friday morning or any day, and put it in His hands means we always get more - more of Him, more than we thought we wanted, more and more healing, more of what’s best for us. ❤️ But it takes time and because of Him we have it today. Isn’t it incredible that He always wants to meet with us? I’m thankful for Friday mornings and every other day of the week where that is true. It’s true for you too.